The road to realizing Dr. Edimo Motto often feels like a ride on a rollercoaster, fast with twist and turns and in tandem slow and smooth. I’m buckled in and the only way off this ride is by staying on. And if you know me, best believe that I have a firm grip on the bar in front of me. But what about those moments when I release the grip and I find my hands up in the air with a smile on my face while in disbelief that I am on this ride?! These moments during which I find myself releasing the grip, with my hands up in the air, and a smile on my face, are what I’ve been calling “in-flow” as I am in total alignment with the opportunities and experiences that come into my life. For instance, earlier in September 2023, I took the time to fill out my individualized development plan (IDP) as a means to intentionally define my short and long-term goals for my first year. One of my short-term goal was to present at a conference and at the time, there was one in particular that I was interested in attending— the Accelerating Health Equity Conference; however, it wasn’t quite aligned with the research my advisor and I were focusing on. Despite this, my advisor encouraged me to keep my heart open while echoing that the right opportunity will manifest naturally as it always does. Well…she was absolutely right.

In late January, as I am checking my emails, I see a call for submitting an abstract to showcase current work at an upcoming conference in April—the 2024 Black Doctoral Network (BDN) Western Regional Conference. As I continue to read every word in this email, my eyes keep circling back to their theme of this year, Applying Research and Transforming Communities. I received this nudge telling me this is it. This was that right opportunity that my advisor was talking about. I mean here I am literally working on a community-engaged participatory research with a focus on oral health among refugee and immigrant communities in Central Virginia…this is it! With my excitement, I talked with advisor and from there we agreed that this is the perfect fit for several reasons and devised a plan for me to craft an abstract and submit it to the BDN Western Regional Conference for approval (status: sent and delivered; awaiting feedback). In parallel, I had also submitted a travel grant application to attend this conference which has been approved and awarded! So despite the fact that that I won’t find out whether my abstract for this conference has been accepted for an oral presentation until March, I know I am “in-flow”. I am doing this! Moments such as these, serve as a reflection of my growth as I am seeing how I am actively taking up space while using the opportunities presented to me to amplify and represent scholars with multifaceted identities similar to mine— a first generation, cisgender African black female. Representation matters!

Speaking of taking up space, I have been doing just that especially in my personal life as well and I am so proud. I mean talk about growth! My old self for the longest time, had been so used to shrinking around others, people pleasing, overextending myself, putting other people needs before my own all at the expense of taking care of my needs and priorities. And truth be told, no one really talks about the grief that comes up when you realize how long you’ve been showing up like that and are literally saying goodbye to those old patterns. As I am letting go of these old limiting patterns, I am so excited about embracing a new way of being, one that honors my desires and brings me closer to living my life authentically and unapologetically. I have been more intentional about saying no without the urge to provide a justification. Now, I would be lying if I said I never get uncomfortable when I have to say no as example! But, I do know that the more I flex this muscle the less awkward it will feel. I also speak up more in spaces especially if I feel like my voice is not being heard or valued. Most importantly, I pour more time into the little things that bring me personal joy. For example, lately I have returned to doing weekly cold press juices (e.g. celery juice with beet, lime, and ginger). This practice is something my mom would do religiously and the fact that I am using her juicer brings me joy because as I carve time out of my day to do this activity, I can’t help but think of her and connect with her in that moment.

All in all, though the road to realizing Dr. Edimo Motto often feels like a ride on a rollercoaster, I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. This phase of my life is what has further facilitated me fully taking up space in both my personal and academic (to include professional) life. Each step I’ve been taking is full of self-discovery and to recognize that for myself is a personal victory.

Until next time, I leave you with the thought below:

(1) In what ways are you being intentional about prioritizing your own needs over those of others? (2) Are there any limiting patterns that you have identified for yourself and working to let go of? (3) Can you think of any moments in your life where you’ve felt ‘in-flow’?

Write it down or say it to yourself.

Resources:

• Benefits of Community Engaged Research

• A Beginner’s Guide to Taking Up Space

• How and When to Say No